You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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