Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
