My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
