Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
no more duck duck goose at the bar
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
