please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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