I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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