Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Randomize
