I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize