you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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