i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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