booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
