Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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