oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
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