Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
