I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Randomize
