ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
