I forgot how hot balto sounded
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
