Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
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