..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
i need some magic done to my vagina
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
