he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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