Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Randomize