planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize