happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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