oh god the rape fog is back!
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
