I want to stick my p in your. b.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
