I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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