I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I forget how to act sober
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
