at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I am spending my child support on dildos
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize