i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
