i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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