Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
