I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize