Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
