piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
