I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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