shes about as inviting as chlamydia
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
