I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
