Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
