is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
handjob tips. give me some.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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