Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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