Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
