im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
