I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
