Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize