Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
