Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
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