my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Damn victory sex feels great
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
