this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
we're so committed to being not committed
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Randomize
