Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
