dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
