I can tuck mytits in my pants
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
A bitchslap is in order.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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