it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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