Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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