I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
