I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize
