You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
