What a fucking waste of an outfit
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
