East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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