Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
