What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
