Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
