this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize