After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
